This 2 days has been crazy for me... The highs and lows of emotions... God i give thanks for the emotions that i face both high and low!! I thank you for a day of just worshipping and a day that is blameless in your eyes...
Yesterday it started off quite well in the morning.. Till I see her.. Then I know something is wrong... hmmmm.. from the way she look at me... I know she is going to say something bad already... mhm... I have made my decision.. so.. I am not going to be bothered by anything and anyone.... I am going to hang on tight till i see the day God brings the whole thing to completion!! God i believe that the day will come!! God i pray that you help me know this is a right decision and that wad i am doing is right.. God grant me the ability to handle the emotions and the words of others.. Lord, i just want to care about how you think of me and how you feel bout me.. make things work out right, Lord... God i pray that you grant me a discerning ear!!
Next, we started to set up shop to fundraise for QQS!!.... The setting up of the place was actually fun... Working with ppl who are having a common objective! knowing wad we want and all.. it feels good.. the setting u pwas done in a short while since there are so many ppl.. I was assigned to selling clothes... shirts... animated cartoon T-shirts for children!! Initially, things was fine... i am still full of energy.. till ppl start coming to see the shirts like pasamalam.... they ask me to open up the plastic look look here see see there then just leave the shirt around.. then end up, i think there is this point in time that there are like more than ten shirts lying around...but its okay la... i still am able to smile.. cos i know that God from above is looking down at me... Now i know why i don like to try on shirts and jeans while buying... cos the feeling of this "messing up the place" sux and the sales personnel have to fold it up nicely after that... and now i know i am nv ever going to be a salesman!! At least not for clothes!! haha.. God, you see how i step out of my comfort zone.. to be a sales person.. God see my heart as i serve you.. Lord, continue to teach me and teach my heart the heart of worship and servanthood... Lord grant me your grace even as i might not have done it to the best.. Lord i already tried to be my best and God, i know you saw me... God i thank you for the 27 shirts that is sold and i thank you lord for the help you have put beside me... God i thank you!!! Lord bless those who bought the shirts with the simple joy as they wear the shirts.!!
but halfway thru, i went to see the kids at G kids... saw them just enjoying themselves and God i thank you for my brother who took over my group while i am away serving you..!! God thanky ou!!! of cos... thank you Lord for bringing a smile upon my face as i see went around to sell the remaining stuff, the photo frames and the bookmarks.. God i thank you lord for those who bought the things from me and supported QQS... Lord i thank you for letting me see her as it really makes me feel better... God i thank you for the kids at G kids as they eventually really came to support me.. I really felt the support from them even as they use their own pocket money to just buy one chocolate bar from the counter!! Lord i thank you for them!!!
then also went to service... i felt so tired and when i enter service.. i was practically dozing off... But wad i caught real hard was God is a GOD WHO SPEAKS!!! God who speaks?!?! Does it mean he will "HEY GUOWEI!! WAZZUPZZ..!!".... no!!! he wont just from the heaven start shouting my name like that!!What i got from pastor is that he will make things happen so coincidentally that he is speaking to us thru the numbers that we... the music that we hear!! I guess God is just telling me and affirming me.. cos recently i always "thought" that i hear God and sometimes i will just brush it aside as "it is just a coincidence!!".. GOD, I am sorry for brushing you aside.. God, speak to me ba!!
after everything end, i went with my brothers to wait for jimmy to book out!! FIRST BOOK OUT LEI... seeing him staying strong and positive is an exhibition of God's faithfulness and grace!! God i thank you for jimmy's safety...
When i reach home... chatted on the phone for a while and then went out to run.. that was one tough phonecall to make.. the sharing was a tough topic and really felt the fear... fear of lossing.. fear of being overwhelmed by negative thoughts... God i pray that you be the Lord over all the situations... God you know my fears.. Lord don let me carry things that are beyond my limits!! God help me!!! So after i put down the photo, i talked to my dad for a while and went to run all the way till 10!!! i think its been a long time since i ran so far.. and while running.. i just felt God's peace and all.. i cried while running.. just like a kid.. crying as i run to my father... and as i run, i felt God just comforting me and telling me things will at the end of the day work out rite if i continue to fear him more and more!! God, let me fear you more and more each day and let me just go through all this with you running beside me and picking up the tears that roll off my cheek... God pick me up and let me stay strong!! God let me have the power and ability to handle all this and help me to stand by it all!!! God assure us all and let us know you will pull us through togehter!!!
**I just hope that at those moments when things are not going well, you will know that there is someone who stands by you!! Thank God!!
Think the most amazing thing that happened through all these journeys is the fact that you realize that God is with you - even when you feel least like it. You have grown much in God and I'm more than certain that He is proud of you.
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