Let's fight!

Jacob Wrestles With God

²² That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. ²³ After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. ²⁴ So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. ²⁵ When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. ²⁶ Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."
But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."

²⁷ The man asked him, "What is your name?"
"Jacob," he answered.

²⁸ Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, ^[e] because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."

²⁹ Jacob said, "Please tell me your name."
But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there.

³⁰ So Jacob called the place Peniel, ^[f] saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."

³¹ The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, ^[g] and he was limping because of his hip. ³² Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob's hip was touched near the tendon.

This was what I was reading last nite... After all the emotions and all the headaches.... I remember hearing this... If God needs to show you a miracle, He will plan everything to show you that miracle... And if you din see that miracle, He will show you the next miracle... In His hands are alot alot of miracles!!! And to let you see it and understand it, He will show it to you one by one.. If you miss the first one, there is still the second and third and fourth...... the list goes on.... So last nite, i was praying... GOD I REALLY NEED TO SEE YOUR MIRACLE... IF I DON, I THINK I AM FADING AWAY...

So, with that, I went to my bible... And I happen to see Genesis chapter 32.. Initially I was just reading through, thinking, okay... let me just see what is this trying to tell me... And as i read, I read the Peniel experience... This is a miracle that i saw... It says that Jacob sent away all his maids, his wifes,his children and he was all alone!!! (I was all alone reading it at that point in time... I 'sent' my parents to bed....) next, Jacob wrestle the man!! (I was considered wrestling with God in me, wrestling to stay strong, to stay positive, to stay rational, to be a good son to my parents...) And wad did Jacob do??... He wrestled God till day break... from the nite to day break... I remember when i was in OCS, there is a lesson on fighting, where 2 person will be wearing all the padding and we will fight with the stick for 5 mins?... I remember that at that time, i was fighting this guy who is about the same size as me... All we had to do is to fight, really fight with all our might for 5 mins.. the 5 mins to me at that time felt like 2 hours.. i was so tired half way through and i had no more strength... That 5 mins is enough to drain me of all the energy i had and after the 5 mins, both my partner and I are still standing, WE ARE STILL STANDING... we have no more strength to knock each other out... But how bout Jacob, my 5 mins... He fought with God for 5 hours and more!!! yet, no matter how tired he is, no matter how weak he felt, how drained out he was... He fought, and he fought and he fought... I think in his mind, he must have felt like giving up so many times, he must be thinking.. WA LAO EH... I AM GOING TO DIE SOON, I HAVE NO MORE STRENGTH, I AM HYDRATING!! But yet, with all this in mind, he persisted on with the fight... Can you believe how persistent he was... and even after he is injured, after God demonstrated his power by touching his hip, he did not give up... instead, he fought even harder!! till God have to say okayokay.. enough.. i don wan to disturb you anymore.. let me go let me go... God have to pretend that Jacob win so that Jacob wont die of the exhaustion and the hydration!! When jacob heard that God telling him to let Him go, all he asked for was a blessing!!

Seriously, as i think back of the most tiring experience that i ever experienced at work and at camp and in schools, at those moments, i always felt like giving up... God haven even touch my hip and i am giving up already... But this time, I felt God challenging me... I felt Him telling me that this time, I am going to touch your hip... are you ready, its going to be super painful, its going to leave you with battle scars... you are going to be so painful that you are going to cry like a baby!!! are you ready for my touch?? But God also tol me that if you survive my touch, and you don let me go, you can ask for a blessing and i will see that it is done according to what you asked for..

God, you know my limit, God you know my limit way better than i do... God, let me pretend to win before i die from the exhaustion and the dehydration.. God when times that i start to doubt my ability to pull thru, can you send your angels to give me bread and wake me up to eat? God can you pretend to let me win and let me see some hope? God can you carry me on your shoulder like how a father would to his own children and let me smile... God can you say things that will push me to try to defeat you.. And God... Can you watch me that even as i am hurt and in pain, ensure that i fight to the end and not give up at the last moment? God, please see me through it and God, I wan my blessing!!! GOD I WAN MY BLESSING!!! God let me be like Jacob and Lord, bless my house hold with so much so much more!! God bless my parents health and financial confidence! GOD YOU WATCH OVER THEM... GOD I HAVE NO MEANS BUT YOU HAVE ALL MEANS!!! God, help me to guard my house and help me to watch over this home.. let it remain as a home and GOD! I speak hope into my home! God speak LOVE into this household and Lord, send your angels around this household that the devils will not be able to touch us... God i give all glory and honor unto your name! In Jesus name i pray. Amen!