Today... I also don know how to start this entry... I think now, I am a broken man.. But this broken man needs to show a strong front for his family.. Today, this guy started with being really tired after a long day of work... Instead of returning to a good happy home, this guy have to go to the MP at the community center with his mom... As tired abs stony this guy is, he went ahead... All he wanted was to get it over an done with.. Cos he is already so tired... But after it all, when he was bout to go home, he heard his home is in a mess cos his brother is asking for money again.. Seriously, at that point in time, he felt the betrayal of trust and the hurt goes right from the heart... He felt like crying and his steps home was heavy.. But he went home still...

When he reach home.. He was greeted by naggings of a mother and the words of a father... His brother did not say a word... This guy wanted to just be left out of the picture seriously cos he felt he has already done more than enough... However, things slowly changed!!! He saw the disappointment in the eyes of the father and the hopelessness in the voices of his mother... He felt the stress right in him!! But he needs to be the one to stand up in his family... He NEED to be the one to speak hope into his parents!! He NEED to be the one who is strong at this point in time.. In his mind, he really felt lost!! It's worst than being lost in Brunei JCC... The type that I can't see light and yet must walk to wards light.. Then, suddenly he saw his own father knee down in from of his brother for the second time... At that point in time, this guy's heart gave way.. He told himself that this is HIS FAMILY and it's his responsibilty to stand by it and handle all that is coming... Following that, he started talking to his parents.. And convincing them.. All this while, there is that feeling from yesterday's blog entry.. The feeling of being forgotten at home since all the attention has been on the brother since young... But this is really not a time to be thinking of that.. That is what he keep telling himself!!

Finally, conclusion for now is that this family is not going to pay the loan sharks anymore.. It's getting more an more and there is no more grace or the brother.. It's time for him to learn...

God god god!!! You know how the condition of this guy's heart.. God don let him handle things that he cannot handle.. Lies you are the counilor!! God give home the advices and tell him what is the next step to take according to your plan... God let your peace reign in his heart.. God I speak of your peace in his heart!! God you are the prince of peace and god I enthrone you as the prince of his heart!! God I pray that you grant him wisdom and god you put a hedge of protection over his family.. God you know his worries as he goes to shanghai next month.. God tell him and god he needs your affirmation right now!!! For came and show him the miracle.. God help him to remain positive and god.. He is so weak!!! God give him the strength to survive this and give him the ability to handle it with care and not let him sin and fall... Did I pray that you watch over his mother that she will look after her on health and god watch over his father that he will be free from sickness and that his body will be strong.. God I commit all things into your hands and bless him tonight that as he sleeps on the hard sofa tonight, you grant him more than enough test and that tonight there will be no one coming to draw or spray paint!! God come and reign.. Amen!!