Best Friends

While many may see a very different side of me when at work, or in ministry, there's one side that few may know is that very often, I find myself feeling that I cannot make it as a friend. I was talking to my best friend this evening, and I do know that every time we share such heart-to-heart thoughts about our friendship, when I blare out my thoughts (complaints, really), it does frustrate the friendship. And at the end of it all, I feel guilty that I've caused all the frustrations and all. If only if I don't think so much, don't feel so negative and just be happy-go-lucky. Like the rest.

But I recognize that I'm not. More importantly, I recognize that I'm not that perfect friend - and while I do definitely feel bad about how things are, I continue to relentlessly love as I know how to, give as I can, and ask God to mould me to be that better person. I know I do fail, much to the dismay of myself - but that's life's very journey that God has marked out for me. The emotions, the character, the expectations I have on myself - that's who God has made me to be. All the other good traits are also part of the package.

My point? I really want to thank God for my friend who's always so patient with me; and thank you too. I know that I'm not all that perfect, at times I'm not sure why I'm like this. I probably can think of plenty of reasons, but it doesn't mean that I'm happy of how I end up so tired out, emotional and negative... I just hope that as we have our rough patches, that we continue to commit ourselves to each others' best interest. I know that neither of us are perfect, and as we share about each other, with all the other leader stuff taken away.. just as two best friends.. honestly committed to grow in God, things will get better.

"Best friends are not meant to be; but chosen"